ydal

Losing My Partition

Lyrics by Fran­cisco Ran­gel, to the tune of “Losing My Reli­gion” by REM.

---

Oh, dri­ves get big­ger
They’re big­ger, and you
begin to split them.
You start to make par­ti­ti­ons
To orga­nize your files
Oh no! A bad resize!
I mes­sed it up.

That’s me at the key­board
That’s me at my lap­top
Losing my par­ti­tion
Try­ing to save all my files
But I don’t know if I can do it
Oh, no! Boot sector’s crun­ched.
I hadn’t backed it up.
I know that I’ll be for­mat­ting
I know that I’m not the king
There’s not­hing left to do but cry

Lost all my pic­tures
Every sys­tem file, my
Pow’rpoint pre­sen­ta­ti­ons.
Try­ing to save my notes to you
Now I feel like a stu­pid fool, fool
Oh, no! I’ve mes­sed it up
I scre­wed it up

Par­ti­tion this
Par­ti­tion this
The goof of the cen­tury
My Deskstar’s death.
The sign that told me
that my disk fai­led.
What if I use unde­lete,
Or, flai­ling around?
Now I’ve lost too much
I thought that I had it covered
I thought that I could con­vert
I think I thought ’twas worth a try
Rela­ted News

The Tali­banana Song

The Immi­nent Death of Micro­soft, Try #117

Top 11 Things found in the Micro­soft Cafeteria

But that was FAT 16
That was FAT 16
That’s me at the ser­ver
That’s me at the key­board
Losing my par­ti­tion
My job is lost, I’m so scre­wed
Well it looks like I really blew it
Oh, no! I lost some files
My data­base is gone
I thought RAID was there to help me
I thought it was idiot-proof
I think it should have saved my drive

But it’s not just a dream
Try. Fry
Why try?
I lost my Win­dows theme
Vent some steam
Drink caf­f­e­ine
Scream

SCO on IRC

As we all know, SCO had a bit of a stand-in with Linux some time ago, and this was one of the reac­tions to the per­cei­ved thre­ats — an IRC chat mockup. Enjoy.

Topic in #os: hey guyz, stop pickin on irix.
<SCO> w00t! i bought unix! im gonna b so rich!
<novell> /msg atnt haha. idiot.
<novell> whoops. was that out loud?
<atnt> rotfl
<ibm> lol
<SCO> why r u laffin at me?
<novell> dude, unix is so 10 years ago. linux is in now.
<SCO> wtf?
<SCO> hey guyz, i bought caldera, I have linux now.
<red_hat> haha, your linux sucks.
<novell> lol
<atnt> lol
<ibm> lol
<SCO> no wayz, i will sell more linux than u!
<ibm> your linux sucks, you should look at SuSE
<SuSE> Ja. Wir bilden gutes Linux für IBM.
<SCO> can we do linux with you?
<SuSE> Ich bin nicht sicher...
<ibm> *cough*
<SuSE> Gut lassen Sie uns vereinigen.
* SuSE is now SuSE[UL]
* SCO is now caldera[UL]
<turbolinux> can we play?
<conectiva> we're bored... we'll go too.
<ibm> sure!
* turbolinux is now turbolinux[UL]
* conectiva is now conectiva[UL]
<ibm> redhat: you should join!
<SuSE[UL]> Ja! Wir sind vereinigtes Linux. Widerstand ist vergeblich.
<red_hat> haha. no.
<red_hat> lamers.
<ibm> what about you debian?
<debian> we'll discuss it and let you know in 5 years.
<caldera[UL]> no one wants my linux!
<turbolinux[UL]> i got owned.
<caldera[UL]> u all tricked me. linux is lame.
* caldera[UL] is now known as SCO
<SCO> i'm going back to unix.
<SGI> yeah! want to do unix with me?
<SCO> haha. no. lamer.
<novell> lol
<ibm> snap!
<SGI> :~(
<SCO> hey, u shut up. im gonna sue u ibm.
<ibm> wtf?
<SCO> yea, you stole all the good stuff from unix.
<red_hat> lol
<SuSE[UL]> heraus laut lachen
<ibm> lol
<SCO> shutup. i'm gonna email all your friends and tell them you suck.
<ibm> go ahead. baby.
<SCO> andandand... i revoke your unix! how do you like that?
<ibm> oh no, you didn't. AIX is forever.
<novell> actually, we still own unix, you can't do that.
<SCO> wtf? we bought it from u.
<novell> whoops. our bad.
<SCO> i own u. haha
<SCO> ibm: give me all your AIX now!
<ibm> whatever. lamer.
* ibm sets mode +b SCO!*@*
* SCO has been kicked from #os (own this.)

The Head of Vecna

Taken from http://home.hiwaay.net/~srberry/gurps/Vecna.html

Mark Steuer, who has the office next-door to mine, recounts this tale:

Many years ago (back when we all were still play­ing D & D), I ran a game where I pit­ted two groups against each other.

Several mem­bers of Group One came up with the idea of luring Group Two into a trap. You remem­ber the Hand of Vecna and the Eye of Vecna that were arti­facts in the old D&D world where if you cut off your hand (or your eye) and repla­ced it with the Hand of Vecna (or the Eye) you’d get new awe­some powers? Well, Group One thought up The Head of Vecna.

Group One spread rumors all over the coun­try­side (even pay­ing Bards to spread the word about this arti­fact rumo­red to exist nearby). They even went so far as to get a real head and place it under some weak traps to help with the illu­sion. Unfor­t­u­na­tely, they for­got to let ALL the mem­bers of their group in on the secret plan (I sus­pect it was because they didn’t want the Druid to get caught and tell the enemy about this trap of theirs, or maybe because they didn’t want him mis­sing with things).

The Druid in group One heard about this new arti­fact and went off in search of it him­self (I believe to help prove him­self to the party mem­bers…) Well, after much trial and tri­bu­la­tion, he found it; deac­tiva­ted (or set off) all the traps; and took his “prize” off into the woods for exami­na­tion. He dis­co­vered that it did not radiate magic (a well known trait of arti­facts) and smi­led gleefully.

I wasn’t really worried since he was alone and I knew that there was no way he could CUT HIS OWN HEAD OFF. Alas I was mis­ta­ken as the Druid promptly sum­mo­ned some car­ni­vor­ous apes and instruc­ted them to use his own sci­mitar and cut his head off (and of course quickly repla­c­ing it with the Head of Vecna…)

Some time later, Group one deci­ded to find the Druid and to check on the trap. They found the head­less body (and the two heads) and rea­li­zed that they had erred in their plan (besi­des laug­hing at the cha­rac­ter who had played the Druid)…The Head of Vecna still had BOTH eyes! They cor­rec­ted this mis­take and reset their traps and the Headfor it’s real inten­ded victims…

Group Two, by this time, had heard of the power­ful arti­fact and deci­ded that it bore inves­ti­ga­ting since, if true, they could use it to des­troy Group One. After much trial and tri­bu­la­tion, they found the res­ting place of The Head of Vecna! The were par­ti­cu­larly impres­sed with the cun­ning traps sur­roun­ding the site (one almost mis­sed his save against the weakest poi­son known to man). They reco­vered the Head and made off to a safe area.

Group Two actually CAME TO BLOWS (several rounds of fight­ing) against each other argueing over WHO WOULD GET THEIR HEAD CUT OFF! Several greedy play­ers had to be hurt and res­trai­ned before it was deci­ded who would be the reci­pi­ent of the great powers bes­towed by the Head… The magi­cian was selec­ted and one of them promptly cut his head off. As the player was lif­ting The Head of Vecna to emplace it on it’s new body, ano­ther argu­ment broke out and they spent several minu­tes shouting and yel­ling. Then, finally, they put the Head onto the character.

Well, of course, the Head sim­ply fell off the life­l­ess body. All mem­bers of Group Two began yel­ling and screa­ming at each other (and at me) and then, on their own, deci­ded that they had let too much time pass bet­ween cut­ting off the head of a hope­ful reci­pi­ent and put the Head of Vecna onto the body.

SO THEY DID IT AGAIN!… [kil­ling ano­ther PC]

In clo­sing, it should be said that I never even cra­cked a smile as all this was going on. After the second PC was slaugh­te­red, I had to give in (my side was hurting)…

And Group Two bla­med ME [Mark] for all of that…

The Evolution of a Programmer

This text has alre­ady come to a signi­fi­cant popu­la­rity throug­hout the whole of the Inter­net. I’m just still mir­ro­ring for the fun of it all.

High School/Jr.High

---

10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END

First year in College

---

program Hello(input, output)
begin
writeln('Hello World')
end.

Senior year in College

---

(defun hello
(print
(cons 'Hello (list 'World))))

New pro­fes­sio­nal

---

#include<stdio.h>
void main(void)
{
char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};
int i;

for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i)
printf("%s", message[i]);
printf("\n");
}

Sea­so­ned professional

---

#include<iostream.h>

#include<string.h>
class string
{
private:
int size;
char *ptr;

public:
string() : size(0), ptr(new char('\0')) {}

string(const string &s) : size(s.size)
{
ptr = new char[size + 1];
strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);
}

~string()
{
delete [] ptr;
}

friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &);
string &operator=(const char *);
};

ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s)
{
return(stream << s.ptr);
}

string &string::operator=(const char *chrs)
{
if (this != &chrs)
{
delete [] ptr;
size = strlen(chrs);
ptr = new char[size + 1];
strcpy(ptr, chrs);
}
return(*this);
}

int main()
{
string str;

str = "Hello World";
cout << str << endl;

return(0);
}

Mas­ter Programmer

---

[
uuid(2573F8F4-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
]
library LHello
{
// bring in the master library
importlib("actimp.tlb");
importlib("actexp.tlb");
importlib("actexp.tlb");

// bring in my interfaces
#include "pshlo.idl"

[
uuid(2573F8F5-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
]
cotype THello
{
interface IHello;
interface IPersistFile;
};
};

[
exe,
uuid(2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
]
module CHelloLib
{

// some pre related header files
importheader();
importheader();
importheader();
importheader("pshlo.h");
importheader("shlo.hxx");
importheader("mycls.hxx");

// needed typelibs
importlib("actimp.tlb");
importlib("actexp.tlb");
importlib("thlo.tlb");

[
uuid(2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820),
aggregatable
]
coclass CHello
{
cotype THello;
};
};

#include "ipfix.hxx"

extern HANDLE hEvent;

class CHello : public CHelloBase
{
public:
IPFIX(CLSID_CHello);

CHello(IUnknown *pUnk);
CHello(IUnknown *pUnk);
~CHello();

HRESULT __stdcall PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString);

private:
static int cObjRef;
};

#include <windows.h>
#include <ole2.h>
#include <stdio.h>

#include <stdlib.h>
#include "thlo.h"
#include "pshlo.h"
#include "shlo.hxx"
#include "mycls.hxx"

int CHello::cObjRef = 0;

CHello::CHello(IUnknown *pUnk) : CHelloBase(pUnk)
{
cObjRef++;
return;
}

HRESULT __stdcall CHello::PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString)
{
printf("%ws\n", pwszString);
return(ResultFromSpre(S_OK));
}

CHello::~CHello(void)
{

// when the object count goes to zero, stop the server
cObjRef--;
if( cObjRef == 0 )
PulseEvent(hEvent);

return;
}

#include <windows.h>
#include <ole2.h>
#include "pshlo.h"
#include "shlo.hxx"
#include "mycls.hxx"

HANDLE hEvent;

int _cdecl main(
int argc,
char * argv[]
) {
ULONG ulRef;
DWORD dwRegistration;
CHelloCF *pCF = new CHelloCF();

hEvent = CreateEvent(NULL, FALSE, FALSE, NULL);

// Initialize the OLE libraries
CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

CoRegisterClassObject(CLSID_CHello, pCF, CLSCTX_LOCAL_SERVER,
REGCLS_MULTIPLEUSE, &dwRegistration);

// wait on an event to stop
WaitForSingleObject(hEvent, INFINITE);

// revoke and release the class object
CoRevokeClassObject(dwRegistration);
ulRef = pCF->Release();

// Tell OLE we are going away.
CoUninitialize();

return(0);
}

extern CLSID CLSID_CHello;
extern UUID LIBID_CHelloLib;

CLSID CLSID_CHello = { /* 2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
0x2573F891,
0xCFEE,
0x101A,
{ 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
};

UUID LIBID_CHelloLib = { /* 2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820
*/
0x2573F890,
0xCFEE,
0x101A,
{ 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
};

#include <windows.h>
#include <ole2.h>
#include <stdlib.h>

#include <string.h>
#include <stdio.h>
#include "pshlo.h"
#include "shlo.hxx"
#include "clsid.h"

int _cdecl main(
int argc,
char * argv[]
char * argv[]
) {
HRESULT hRslt;
IHello *pHello;
ULONG ulCnt;
IMoniker * pmk;
WCHAR wcsT[_MAX_PATH];
WCHAR wcsPath[2 * _MAX_PATH];

// get object path
wcsPath[0] = '\0';
wcsT[0] = '\0';
if( argc> 1) {
mbstowcs(wcsPath, argv[1], strlen(argv[1]) + 1);
wcsupr(wcsPath);
}
else {
fprintf(stderr, "Object path must be specified\n");
return(1);
}

// get print string
if(argc> 2)
mbstowcs(wcsT, argv[2], strlen(argv[2]) + 1);
else
wcscpy(wcsT, L"Hello World");

printf("Linking to object %ws\n", wcsPath);
printf("Text String %ws\n", wcsT);

// Initialize the OLE libraries
hRslt = CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {

hRslt = CreateFileMoniker(wcsPath, &pmk);
if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt))
hRslt = BindMoniker(pmk, 0, IID_IHello, (void **)&pHello);

if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {

// print a string out
pHello->PrintSz(wcsT);

Sleep(2000);
ulCnt = pHello->Release();
}
else
printf("Failure to connect, status: %lx", hRslt);

// Tell OLE we are going away.
CoUninitialize();
}

return(0);
return(0);
}

App­ren­tice Hacker

---

#!/usr/local/bin/perl
$msg="Hello, world.\n";
if ($#ARGV>= 0) {
while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {
$outfilename = $arg;
open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg:
$!\n";
print (FILE $msg);
close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n";
}
} else {
print ($msg);
}
1;

Expe­ri­en­ced Hacker

---

#include
#define S "Hello, World\n"
main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}

Sea­so­ned Hacker

---

% cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c
% a.out

Guru Hacker

---

% cat
Hello, world.
^D

New Mana­ger

---

10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END

Middle Mana­ger

---

mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12
Gill, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello,
world."?
I need it by tomorrow.
^D

Senior Mana­ger

---

% zmail Gill
I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.

Chief Exe­cu­tive

---

% letter
letter: Command not found.
% mail
To: ^X ^F ^C
% help mail
help: Command not found.
% damn!
!: Event unrecognized
% logout